You Smell Like Tea
by Choco-Pocky-Usa-chan
Summary: Alfred's scheme to capture his British gentleman's heart. Bathe in Tea. Obviously Alfred's worst plan ever. "Where's your bath?" "Artie, you can't drink dirty tea water!" USUK  Bad summary and more or less a first time writer. Please read!


_**Note:** So um yeah... I haven't written anything and posted it since I was like eleven... and I don't have a beta. (I'm not entirely sure what that is... XD) I don't exactly like this, and I wasn't sure how to end it either... BUT ANYWAY I felt the need to do this. I saw this picture on deviant, and it just got me thinking so yeah. SORRY FOR ALL ERRORS! :D SO ... **Disclaimer:** I DON'T OWN HETALIA... *sniffle sniffle* (And I'm sorry if this is hard to read also I tried to format it in a way that it would be easy-ish to read...)_

_**Pairing:** USUK_

_**Genre:** Humor? Yeah Humor :D_

_**Rating:** PG- Something- Can we have class outside?_

_**Warning:** Mis-usage of tea, mildish swearing, and two people of the male variety kissing and snuggling pretty much._

**You Smell like Tea**

**By: The Epic Me **

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><p>He had used every trick in the book of heroes winning their damsels. Alfred had saved Arthur plenty of times, even if he was the cause of those accidents half the time. Alfred had even gotten him a huge bouquet of roses! It just happened to be April Fool's Day… which may or may not have caused Arthur to break his nose in raw fit of rage<p>

But this scheme would work. Alfred had cracked the code whilst viewing an axe commercial with said center of his affections, and the answer hit him like a shit ton of bricks. If all of those girls crawled over that man just because of his axe body spray, couldn't he do something similar to lure Arthur into his warm, loving embrace of awesome? He would use Arthur's most favorite scent in the whole world.

Tea.

That's how our hero, Alfred F. Jones, ended up bathing in tea, yes children, bathing. He had bought up every packet of tea in the whole freaking city. He, honestly, almost choked to death on the strong scent of the stuff, but this was for Arthur. Never mind that he was pruned to hell and smelt like a tea factory or something, this just meant that Arthur would finally be his.

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><p>Alfred finally snapped out of his all-consuming thoughts and went to answer the door which Arthur had been pounding furiously on for the last five minutes. "You git! Don't call me and tell me this is an emergency and then not answer the bloody door!" Arthur scolded angrily while pounding his fists against Alfred's chest. Alfred chuckled weakly; he probably had over exaggerated the situation a tiny bit but just a bit! It was pretty damn urgent for him after all.<p>

But then all of a sudden the pounding stopped. Arthur stopped dead in his tracks. The aroma of tea must've finally penetrated his nostrils. His pupils dilated, his mouth watered, and his stomach growled loudly. Alfred let a sly, knowing smile cross his face for a moment. Arthur stared at Alfred like a child would at a stranger, and then moved closer. Then he leaned in and sniffed quietly in an apparent trance. Arthur licked his lips unsurely and blinked owlishly at Alfred as he positioned himself into Alfred's torso.

Alfred's breath hitched, and he swore his glasses fogged. It was working? He meant of course it was working! He was the hero after all. He totally knew it'd work, sort of… Arthur slowly peaked up at Alfred, pupils still massive and now a light pink tinted his cheeks. "You smell like tea," Arthur pointed out in a zoned out voice. "There isn't any tea for miles," Arthur took in Alfred's new scent carefully as if he were to blink that the wonderful aroma would vanish. Alfred scratched his cheek deciding it was best to look away for a few moments.

Of course there wasn't any tea; he had bought it all. "Why do you smell like tea?" Arthur asked in defeat as he rested his head on Alfred's shoulder and just inhaled the scent like a crack addict. "Alfred…" Arthur croaked out nuzzling deep into Alfred. "What in the hell did you do?" Alfred stiffened. Damn Arthur and his perceptiveness; Alfred should've known he would be suspicious. "Is this your bloody damn fault? I haven't had tea for three days, and that is much too long," Arthur said trying to snuggle closer into Alfred, possibly hoping to absorb the tea scent from him.

"Gimme," Arthur demanded regretfully moving away from Alfred's warm tea smelling body.

"I would um… love to Artie, but I kind of used it all up," He muttered. "And I would also like to point out that wasn't proper English!" Arthur didn't even flinch at his own slip up or the dreadful nickname that Alfred had called him. His reality was too busy shattering into a million little pieces.

"What do you mean? You smell like tea. Where is it? I want it," Arthur whined and tears even began to brim his beautiful green eyes. Crap crap crap the mantra repeated itself in Alfred's mind. His plan was backfiring he was making him upset.

Time to come clean he supposed. "Well geez Arite, I don't know how to tell you this, but I bathed in it so you would be attracted to me more," Alfred ruffled his hair teasingly.

Arthur's eyes flashed dangerously. "Tell me you're lying to me." Alfred stared a little miffed at Arthur's reactions. "You wasted precious tea."Then Arthur's eyes widened in realization. "Where's your bath?" He asked longingly.

"Artie, you can't drink dirty tea water!" Alfred yelled horrified.

"Oh yes I can," Arthur replied dangerously before bolting up Alfred's stairs.

"Artie, No!" Alfred chased after him.

"Shut up you, dirty tea wasting wanker!" Arthur screamed back.

A declaration of glee and then a fair amount of struggling could be heard as Alfred finally pried the still wriggling Arthur away from the bath water. "God damn it Arthur! Stop thinking about your fucking tea for a moment and look at me!"

Arthur screamed. "Just let me have a bloody sip! You could've left me a bloody fucking bag!"

And finally, finally, Arthur was silenced with a gentle kiss, which left him stunned and bright red for several moments. Arthur's pupils dilated to near impossible levels. "Y-You taste like tea…" Alfred let out a rather girlish scream as he was pounced upon.

Maybe he regretted this….

"Nngh… bloody hell Alfred, I love you," Arthur groaned as he attacked Alfred's lips happily, too relieved to even notice he had let loose his own little secret to Alfred because he tasted like tea.

Or maybe he wouldn't regret this after all… Even if Arthur had almost drank dirty bath water.

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><p><em>:D That's the picture and the link isn't really so I put the link on my profile if you wanna see it. Ehheheheh... I fail. Um Read and Review if you want to... . Please... <em>


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